I have been called/ invited with all the affection to learn the process or administrative system of schooling, given all the space to make my own choice without any compulsion or force. On the other hand I am working for last three years for the same project with blessed team one would never have. I will really miss them before I miss the job or the colorful pay I get in this in-expensive town. I just love them and I really want to be here for next three years, where I had an offer to stay.
Added to the blessing, my wife was expecting and I am really glad and happy about it. This is what I call blessed more than needed at times and every path looks clean and beautiful to walk in but the brain is in dilemma to sync with heart and throw the command of direction. This makes me think in a new direction of kid being born here or back home. A kid born in America is always privileged for his future education and other stuff than any other kid. I also believe that India will never beat US in next twenty-thirty years for sure.
In all these five years, I never felt regret for being on this foreign land- Not even one day. I never had an Idea of going back home even the Dollar value fall down for a rupee in future. I am in love with this country; it’s like a wonder land where I can be on my own. But, things change so rapidly than you expect. Now choices and priorities are completely different. I want to feel the same secure and joy after the decision made. But, if I remember I had the same feeling of fear and uncertainty when I first place my foot on this land of opportunity. Today is the day where my life turns into Bliss or a Mess.
Given all these, why don’t he bless with more courage and thinking to make the final call. I have been thinking on this for last two weeks and I am still on the first page and first sentence. I spoke to parents, friends, well-wishers. How can they decide my future, this life is mine and I am the one who’s gonna face the circumstance’s. I should be the one calling for it and be prepared. All they said helped me in filling the gaps. Thanks for having few good people around.
Parents were the greatest gift one will ever never find on this earth, so do I. What they said was just great “No force or compulsion, make your choice which is good for not only you but for both the families, Marriage is not between two people but it’s between two families. We still respect your choice and freedom”. Same from the other side of the family -“we wish you guys be here but the final choice is solemnly yours and we respect it.” What a modest people around, left me completely alone. My brain is about to explode boo-om.
I was asked before marriage; do I have plans in coming back? My answer was straight. I like to lead a comfortable life like every other man, If I feel having comfort I will come. The agreement looked different than that of today. I though, I will have freedom to stay in US as long as I wish to and move back home. It’s true, they didn’t force me to listen to their voice, they just said their concern or interest. I can turn it down by saying, I can’t make it for next few years and they would accept it. Which will make me feel low, that they have respected my concern where I didn’t do that? I think on the first place they shouldn’t have asked me , they did and I am left with pretty much less option.
Looking from their brighter side, They had a urgent requirement and It will be nice filling it by me. I will get time to learn because that’s my final path of destiny. What I am doing today is nothing but waste of energy comparing to what I am going to do once I leave this land of liberty. I believe in young learning that makes a positive note for me on the reason I am called.
I know, I might ask a year or six month, what will change over this period? Understanding between Kranthi and me gets stronger, I know the reason for calling this and no one would buy this or understand if I mention. I may save little more money and go home with added confidence. By the time I will have a kid with American citizenship. I can extend my H1-B visa for next three years, which really doesn’t matter once I go there. I can really close the work I got to finish by then at my work place.
She’s the sweetest soul I never met. I have to mention her, Marge was like a Mom/Sis/Friend to me all these years while working with me. I never thought it will be hard to leave this workplace. But, she is one reason which makes me think of staying. She will cry out loud for at least a week or two, If she know that I am leaving. She is really a best friend I ever had in USA. She is the O N E, that’s all I can say for our friendship. I will miss her as much as I miss my carrier in USA.
I am surrounded by very few people. But, they love me deep into their heart. This Country had given me all I want for these years. I really feel privileged for all the education, knowledge that got shared with me through every season of its beautiful nature. I feel blessed for being a part of it. At same time, I feel more blessed for invitation for better achievement, I feel way more blessed that I am going to be a DAD. This is the time I should thank God, parents and wife for all that I am blessed with.
